Lack of Perseverance
What is a “Lack of Perseverance”?
A “Lack of Perseverance” is where you consider something to be too difficult or boring that you decide to give up on it. This occurs because you are afraid of failing, you struggle with discipline (not being focused enough or being too uptight with your focus) or you lack a goal to motivate you.
Why is “Perseverance” so important?
Life isn’t easy, it has never meant to be easy and because of this we all struggle and fail at things but if we always give up when we fail, we will not get very far in life and miss out on things that can bring out our potential. Perseverance means to keep trying when you fail and keeping pushing when you are pushed back because life is not a smooth, flat road that we can simply walk down. This is one of the toughest lessons to learn in life as it is something we must overcome, we cannot avoid it.
How do I manage a “Lack of Perseverance”?
Managing a “Lack of Perseverance” requires you to re-adjust the way you live your life. This can be done with these 3 strategies: What Perseverance Looks Like, Look at Things Differently AND Things you can try in Your Daily Life. You can find these strategies explained in further detail under the tabs above.
How does knowing “What a Lack of Perseverance looks like” help me with a “Lack of Perseverance”?
Knowing “What a Lack of Perseverance looks like” is important as it shows you what a “Lack of Perseverance” is at its worst. Knowing what something is like at its worst will enable you to start making changes to better your life because what you will see down below, is what will happen if you don’t change. Lets have a look at the worst of “Perseverance” down below.
Always Fearing Failure
One of the first things to show through a “Lack of Perseverance” is Fearing Failure. You fear it so much that you try to do anything and everything to avoid failing as you don’t want to lose, look or feel bad. The problem with trying to avoid failure is that you will never learn what’s needed to succeed because avoiding failure becomes your top priority. You need to fail in life in order to succeed.
Constantly Procrastinating
Procrastination is where you will put off doing something really important and instead focusing on something trivial (unimportant). By Constantly Procrastinating, you will be trying to avoid doing what needs to be done as you fear doing it as you fear doing it wrong or it failing. You will try to look busy doing trivial stuff so you don’t have to face the important task. You may feel better avoiding it at first but deep down you need to do it sooner or later and you are just delaying the inevitable (something you are unable to stop).
Out of control Ego & Perfectionism
If you think doing something is below you or an insult to you intelligence/skills, then you have an Out of control Ego. An Out of control Ego can destroy your chances of success because you think you’re better than you actually are. Being the most talented person in the room does not guarantee success as you still need to prove that you are reliable person who can work others. Perfectionism is where your Ego tells you that everything you do must always be done correctly with no room for error. This creates a paralysing fear to Persevere as you feel there’s no way to succeed if you are not being perfect.
Blaming Others when things go wrong
When a person finds they have a “Lack of Perseverance” due to not having success, they tend to try find a reason for why this is. The main reason they find is that someone or something else is at fault for why they can’t succeed, they feel that they have been held back by that someone or thing meaning for them, there is no point in trying anymore. Blaming Others never helps anyone, it is not their fault you are struggling and it is not your fault either but you must own up to your mistakes, learn from them and keep trying at life, you will get somewhere in life, we all can.
Giving up too Easily
If you stop trying to Persevere in life, then you will give up without ever trying things. Giving up too Easily leads to missed opportunities to learn or try something that could make you a better person or help you find success. You will be hating yourself and being stuck with a low self-esteem (confidence in yourself) which can be HARD to overcome but MUST be overcome if you want to get anywhere in life. Remember, quitters never prosper, triers do.
How do I “Look at Things Differently”?
To “Look at Things Differently” starts with realising that what causes a “Lack of Perseverance” in us is created in our heads and inflated to seem worse than it actually is. The way to “Look at Things Differently” is to not be so hard on ourselves, be realistic in who we are and look at how we can grow to better ourselves. Down below, you can find ways to “Look at Things Differently” based on “What a Lack of Perseverance looks like”.
Looking at Failure Differently
Failure is part of being human, everyone has failed at something in life so you are not alone when things don’t go your way- people don’t always pass 1st time, sportsmen have suffered defeats, plans don’t always go to plan. When Failure happens, embrace it as a chance to learn what you did wrong and how you can do it better next time because if you try to avoid or prevent failure, this will only lead to more failure. Failure does not make us less, it makes us more. Aspie Heroes has a section about dealing with the Anxiety of Failure on the Anxiety Strategy page which you can find using the link below.
Link Here
Addressing Procrastination
Procrastination can be an excuse to not get things done, making excuses needs to stop as they don’t help us. If a task seems to big or complicated then consider breaking it down into smaller tasks or steps as this will make it more manageable, if it is still too big then keep breaking it down until it is manageable- it will become manageable as long as you keep trying. Also, create a time limit or deadline to get the task done, this will push you to push yourself. For more help with Procrastination, Aspie Heroes has an entire strategy page on the topic, use the link below to access it.
Link Here
Looking at Perfectionism Differently
Perfectionism is unrealistic, humans are not meant to be perfect and if we humans were all perfect, then life would be boring as we would have nothing new to learn, new ways to grow or have any goals/achievements to strive for, would you want to live in a world like that? Trying to be perfect highlights our imperfections much more clearly to us and others so it is better to just accept them and focus on bettering ourselves. Making progress in life is a better more realistic way to live than trying to be perfect- the small wins we get and improvements we make are something to be proud of.
Addressing your Own Mistakes to not Blame Others
It’s very easy to blame our own mistakes on other people as we can be afraid of the backlash from our mistakes, ashamed that we made them and pretend they never happened so that we don’t feel weak or less than is being asked of us. The truth is, that making mistakes is part of being human, Addressing your Own Mistakes is brave not cowardly; by addressing them we admit that we are actually human as humans naturally make mistakes being the flawed beings we are. The sooner we Address our Own Mistakes, the sooner we can put them right and this can encourage others to Address their Own Mistakes.
Finding the Will to not Give Up
Giving up is easy to do, a lot of people feel like giving up when it gets too hard, perseverance can be difficult but rewarding. The best things that happen to us in life come from persevering rather than giving up but YOU MUST MAKE THEM HAPPEN. You have to believe in yourself, believe in your ability to do something or being able to learn how to do it, as you deserve to live the life you love doing the things you want to do but you can’t accomplish this if you give up so let this help motivate you to push on with your life, you don’t need to accomplish it by today, take the time you need to do it.
What are “Things you can try in your daily life” to help with Perseverance?
The “Things you can try in your daily life” to help with perseverance are all about living your life differently than before, living it intentionally (with purpose). Down below, you can find “Things you can try in your daily life” that will help change your perspective on life and how you live it, let these help you find your way in life regardless of how you have lived up to now.
Positive Affirmations
Negative thinking is the biggest killer of Perseverance, it makes us feel doubt and paralyses us with fear making us not want to continue with what we are doing. The only way to deal with Negativity is Positivity. One of the best ways to fill yourself up with Positivity is to use Positive Affirmations such as: I can do this, I reject the need to compare myself to others, My life’s journey is unique to me and I have the power to reach my goals when I am ready. Telling yourself this instead of negative thoughts will make life’s difficulties easy to deal with. There are plenty of these all over the place, so get looking.
Meditation
Meditation is the ideal way to help calm your mind when you are inevitably stressed from perseverance. It allows you to take time for yourself, which we all need, to refocus your thoughts on how you feel about life and where to go next. Meditation can be as short as 5 minutes or as long as you want it to be. All you have to do is make time to do it. Thanks to the internet, there are many guided meditations you can do, the only thing you have to do is relax. Aspie Heroes has a Meditations that you can use, use the link below to visit our Meditation page.
Link Here
Focus on your own Journey
It’s very easy to watch someone else be successful and compare yourself to them, thinking you’ve fallen behind and that it’s pointless for you to continue. Focus on your own Journey, focus on HOW YOU CAN become better at what you want to do and HOW YOU CAN make a difference as other people’s journeys don’t matter in your life, just yours. As Kano Jigoro (Founder of Judo) once said “It is not important to be better than someone else, but to be better than yesterday.”, the only person you need to compete with is yourself not someone else as they don’t matter.
Talk to other People
You don’t have to Persevere alone, there are people around you who will support you: you family and friends. Talking to these people about your struggles to Persevere can help you better deal with struggles as you are no longer holding them in and with another person aware of them, they can help you deal with them, they are not yours alone anymore (remember teamwork makes the dream work). If your friends and family can’t help you, there are various groups and places who can support you too: Aspie Heroes has a Directory pageful of groups and places who can help you, use the link below to visit it.
Make it Happen
In life, things don’t happen by themselves, people aren’t going to come knocking on your door with opportunities, you have to Make it Happen. If you need skills or qualifications then find a place which offers them and learn. If you need experience, look at volunteering somewhere or getting a job. If you need money for things then look at ways to save money or get a job to earn cash. The best things that happen in our lives are the things we Made Happen, so get working on how to live your best life.
Not your Fault but Your Responsibility
Whether your Lack of Perseverance is your fault or not, it is your responsibility to do something about it. You can make many excuses for yourself all you want but this will change nothing about your life. You have to make changes to better your life and changes are made through actions so start taking action to live a better quality of life.